In this guide
When we talk about getting a retirement plan together, we usually mean planning how we are going to fund our lifestyle after we’ve stopped working. While saving for retirement is vital, preparing emotionally for this major life transition is just as, if not more, critical.
“One of the greatest risks to our mental and physical health at this life stage is moving from a busy work life to an extended period of inactivity and purposelessness,” says Elisabeth Shaw, CEO at Relationships Australia NSW.
“Often people wait to form a plan, which for some could work out well, while for others could leave them floundering. Retirement disrupts a sense of identity, status, meaning and focus and can also affect relationship dynamics or illuminate relationship issues,” she says.
“Starting to speak about it can be a good way to get your head around it, as the various conversations and reactions you get will prepare you for what you need to be thinking about. Seeking professional support to explore any sticking points could also be invaluable.”
Market researchers have defined five distinct stages of retirement that can help people negotiate their emotions and expectations around this life stage.
Phase 1: Imagination (6–15 years before retirement)
Whether you’re in your late 40s or about to turn 60, people in the pre-retirement phase start to face the fact that retirement is no longer far off in the distant future, but something more imminent. This is the phase where people begin to imagine what life might look like when they’re no longer working.
Justin, 51, is a Melbourne real estate agent. He and his wife Claire, an interior designer, plan to retire to Sanur in Bali within the next 10 years. “We’ve been going to Bali every year for decades,” says Justin. “We have friends there and our kids love the lifestyle. We always stay in Sanur. It’s like our home away from home.
“Living in Bali is not as cheap as it used to be, but the cost of living is still lower than in Australia. Medical services there have improved now, too. Getting a retirement visa to Indonesia is a relatively simple process, so that’s what we are hoping to do.”
“Most people have an initial retirement plan that resembles an extended holiday, a long-awaited trip, or a busy round of socialising,” says Shaw. “Then life settles in, and the open time can feel delightful for some, quite confronting for others.”
Racheal, 63, worked in a busy finance firm for more than 20 years before retiring in 2022. “I loved being retired in the beginning,” she explains. “I finally did the renovations I’d always wanted to do, and I took trips away with friends, but I couldn’t shake this awful feeling of having all the time in the world and nothing to do. Working in finance can be stressful, but it’s also exciting. When I stopped working, it felt as if my whole world had come to a grinding halt, and I desperately needed a creative outlet.”
Phase 2: Anticipation (up to 5 years before retirement)
Just before retiring, people begin to feel a growing excitement and relief that the daily demands of their working life are coming to a close.
“There are a lot of stereotypes about retirement that are related to, ‘it’s going to be great!’ or the more negative association of getting older and this being a ‘time to rest’. Both can be very challenging. It may also be a time of worry and regret if the desired retirement is not affordable, and life becomes more limited,” says Shaw.
Pip, 58, and her husband Clive, 62, own a cleaning franchise in Sydney’s northern suburbs They say they are neither financially nor psychologically ready to retire. “We clean business offices, strata properties and commercial kitchens,” says Pip. “It’s a physical workout every day but I’m my own boss and the money is good.”
Clive says he dreams of selling the business one day and retiring to the coast, but he worries that they may not have enough to fund their retirement. “We’ve looked at how much we would need to comfortably retire but everything is getting more expensive all the time,” he says. “I worry about the cost of living and how we would manage if we didn’t work.”
Phase 3: Liberation (retirement day and the year after)
Also called the honeymoon phase, this is when the demands and responsibilities of work are finally over. Most of us have plans in place and feel excited about the windfall of time and freedom that’s ahead.
“Some who have already defined hobbies, friends and interests will have a stronger sense of life ahead,” says Elisabeth. “Others who have had little life outside of work may wait for inspiration to see what appeals. If they are reliant on others being available, this could be disappointing. It can take a while to find one’s feet and establish a routine. Usually having some shape to the week can provide some anchor points around which other things can be built.”
“Retiring gave me two gifts,” says Cecelia, 67, who retired from teaching eight years ago. “It gave me time and resources. I always wanted to teach yoga but between working and raising children, I just never got around to it. When I retired, I had the money and time to do my yoga training.” Cecelia now has her own practice in Canberra running yoga classes, workshops and meditation retreats.
“I love my life now,” she says. “We sold our house and bought a small apartment close to my yoga studio. My husband has joined a cycling club and he’s really enjoying that. We are both lucky to have our health as we get older as not everyone has that. Living a healthy lifestyle is our main focus now.”
Phase 4: Reorientation (2–15 years after retirement)
This phase is about moving closer towards a more balanced lifestyle with a new set of diverse interests, relationships and routines – a time to reinvent and redefine yourself.
“This is a stage when trying new things is valued, even expected, and can therefore be quite liberating,” says Shaw. “Being open to ideas and suggestions is worthwhile in case new discoveries can be made.”
Trish, 71, has discovered the benefits of volunteering. “I retired in 2019 and my husband Graham is now semi-retired,” says Trish. “I have been a volunteer at a refugee centre in Sydney for four years now. It feels good to be making a difference in the lives of people who have had to go through hardship and trauma.”
Phase 5: Reorientation (16+ years after retirement)
It’s in this final phase that retirees are no longer thinking about retiring and planning for their retirement – they’re getting on with living it! They’re reflecting on past successes and failures and bringing a lifetime of knowledge into their future. This is when most retirees feel generally content, hopeful and accepting of being retired. Comforting routines are set in place, goals become more realistic and happiness increases.
“One thing I like about being retired is that when my phone rings, it’s someone I actually want to talk to,” says Phil, 72, who worked in film and television until he retired nine years ago and moved to the NSW South Coast. “I walk or swim every morning and I’m involved in quite a few community projects. I feel I’m still evolving as a person and enjoying life.”
Shaw points out that it’s completely normal to go up and down in your feelings about retirement, depending on what is happening. “The pace of life is very different and takes a bit to get used to,” she says.
“The biggest challenge will be grappling with your new identity and self-concept, as you encounter your own and others’ reactions to a life stage that still gets caught in ageing bias. Seizing charge of the narrative about you and giving your story shape and substance will be an ongoing work as the years pass.”
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