Retirement planning is about more than money

Retirement these days is a profound life transition – right up there with leaving home as a young adult and the birth of your first child. Now that we’re living longer, this new phase of life could last 30 years or more, so it deserves careful thought and, ideally, some personal stock taking.

Initially, you may worry about getting bored or being viewed by the world as irrelevant, especially if your identity and sense of purpose have been defined by a demanding career. This isn’t helped by living in a society where the first question asked in social gatherings is often, ‘What do you do?’

It can take time and thought to make the psychological adjustment to retirement, and a period of reflection to find a new sense of purpose aligned with your personal preferences and values. It may also help to talk to friends and family who have made the leap, or to seek the help of a retirement coach or counsellor.

Create a routine

At first, it can be blissful to wake up without an alarm or a to-do list, with endless time to do as you like. Some people may be happy to go with the flow and lie in, play a round of golf, potter in the garden, and settle on the couch for a night in front of the TV, but retirement coach and founder of 64plus Jon Glass says most people need some sort of structure and routine.

To do this, he says to think about what activities you enjoy and what gives you a sense of purpose. Do you like to be active outdoors, have a full social calendar, a chance to ‘give back’ by mentoring or consulting work, or do you crave time alone to perfect your guitar playing?

Then you can build a routine, allocating time to certain activities, prioritising the things that are most important to you. Personally, I like to get out of bed in the morning knowing what the day holds, without having to make endless decisions.

Plan time alone and together

This one’s for couples who suddenly find themselves sharing time and space. Glass says most people don’t think about this aspect of retirement until it becomes an issue. “Some couples may like to hug 24 hours a day, but I haven’t met them; most people need a bit of space.”

The Japanese coined the term ‘wet leaf syndrome’ for salarymen who retire and suddenly feel lost, so they follow their wives on their daily rounds like a wet leaf stuck to the sole of her shoe. Gender stereotypes aside, no one likes a wet leaf, so it’s important to get a life.

Do you have somewhere you can be spatially separate, perhaps the garden, a home office or even a shed, at certain times of the day? How much time should you spend together and how much time apart pursuing your own interests? Glass says this needs continual negotiation.

Try new things

If you’re anything like me, you have a list of things you would like to do ‘when I have time’. For me, it’s learn the piano, improve my French, do more creative writing and go on multi-day walks.

Everyone’s list will be different, but it’s good to push yourself outside your comfort zone to learn new things. Making time for new activities can give you a new sense of purpose and achievement, but it’s also a great way to keep physically active, make new social connections and stimulate your brain.

Build social connections

One thing people often miss after they leave full-time employment is chatting to their work colleagues and a sense of belonging to a group of like-minded people. Relying on your partner’s social circle is unlikely to be fulfilling for long (and might get on their nerves!).

If you’ve neglected your social life outside work, retirement can be a wonderful opportunity not only to explore new activities but to develop new social networks with people who share your interests. For example, you might join an art group or community choir, sign up for a language course at a community college, volunteer with your local Landcare group or join an ocean swimming club.

I’ve also found that pushing yourself to make one social connection often leads to other opportunities to connect. Someone at book club might suggest going along to a writers’ group at your local library. Before you know it, you’ve built a new social network in your local community.

Make space for self-reflection

While retirement offers the opportunity to do more of what you love, there’s also an argument for giving yourself permission to do absolutely nothing. Or at least that’s what it might look like to a casual observer. Time to listen to the birds, daydream or let your thoughts drift.

Time to think can bring clarity to issues you are facing or plans for the future. Often, the thoughts that bubble to the surface are things you may have neglected when life was hectic.

Glass argues that time is a gift and that retirement is an opportunity to reflect and right wrongs. One thing he finds that resonates with clients is thinking about difficult conversations with family or friends, and how to go about them.

“There are some simple ground rules. One is to make sure you both feel in a safe space. Make sure you are clear in your objectives. And make sure you’re having the conversation at the right time because domestic arguments are usually crucial conversations at exactly the wrong time,” he says.

In the heat of the moment, experts generally advise it’s important to pause to reflect, then respond, don’t react. Easier said than done, but it’s worth trying.

Make peace with ageing

Ageing, cognitive decline and death are a part of life, but you wouldn’t know it from all the advice on how to turn back the clock. From fad diets to cosmetic procedures, the futile quest to look young is more likely to raise your stress levels and hasten your untimely demise.

As I’m sure readers already know, the current advice for healthy ageing is a healthy diet, exercise, low alcohol intake, social connection, mental stimulation and a good night’s sleep. So do your best, stop worrying and enjoy the next chapter of this wonderful life!